Well as title says i am really confused on my state of mind as i am experiencing both of them.
The reason behind it is that the result of an engineering exam that i have given in may for entrance in an engineering college, has been annoused and i am declared uneligible for admission.
Now i am happy because i am not even a bit intrested in getting an engineering degree, 60% students after school opt for engineering . In india you can easily find one engineer per household on an average and most of them are doing 9-5 desk job earning enough to survive with family. I dont any meaning of such life. Infact, i am intrested in joining army as an officer where there is a life full of adventure, activities and oppertunities, i have job security, i can command men, will be respected everywhere in india (well, indians have a huge respect for their soldiers),perks and pensions after retirement. Its not only above things that made me choose army but also the fact that i want to do something for my motherland well i know a person can serve his country in many ways but i prefer joinin the army.
Anyway, i am sad because it initiated a feeling of guilt inside me. It makes me feel i can do nothing, it makes me feel dejected top it up with the scolding i got from my parents for failing (yeah, parents in india consider marks of their children as their status in socity).
Well now i am waiting for the result of exam i have given for defence academy and i am sure i will be called for the interview .
Lets hope for the best. I have to maintain my self confidence and keep preparing for the interview.